We were at the very end of our set and everyone was dancing. In that uncanny dream way, I knew it had been going perfectly. Perla rocked Owen’s zoot suit from Red vs. Blue, despite the hole in the pocket I had accidentally torn on that night (sorry), and a mosh pit had formed during lonely rolling star.

I remember feeling so much more confident in my bass playing than the last Grief. I was as practiced as I am prior to a Federal show now, a far cry from any other grief live. I remember seeing beads of sweat fall to the floor from everyone’s face as the bridge came down. The mosh had just stopped, with everyone regaining their breath before the final chorus came in. I readied my bass, and continued into the chorus. I excitedly looked up on the downstroke, to watch the mosh resume in unmatched fervor.

That’s when I woke up.

GL4 never happened. Tate moved to France, Areesh studied abroad in Denmark, and I am now stuck in Sarasota, dead-end employed. Last winter, Areesh never visited South Florida, so it was impossible then too. GL3 will forever remain the final Grief Live event. I don’t think anyone supposed that was even a possibility at the time since GL4 seemed inevitable. I worry what else we will experience for the last time without realizing…